(for a good Catholic girl, she sure loves to have sex :) )."

For the record, I'm a good Christian boy, and I love having sex.  I think I might quibble on the timing, though.    For right now, I guess I'm just happy that you've came back to our 'team.'  [sntjohnny searches for appropriate smiley, gives up]

About your situation... well, its not going to be easy.  In my opinion, you guys should sort this out pronto.  Things are going to get really dicey when you have kids.  In the Catholic Church, in particular, when you get married they will make you swear that the kids will be raised Catholic.  They do that even if a Catholic marries a Protestant, by the way.  Else they won't marry you.  You might say that you don't care about that now but you might find that you care a great deal about it in 8 years when kids start coming down the pike.  If she is as devout as you say, she will insist on having the kids in the RCC system but you might really have a problem with that. 

Or you could become a Catholic.  Then we're really be on the same 'team.' :)

The difference in religious outlooks will eventually tear the relationship apart.  Best to get it sorted out sooner rather than later.

I think that the Doctor may be generally right, but it really depends on individual circumstances.  When I was in college, I had a romance with a Catholic, and I remember that it was pretty difficult to think in practical terms.  When there is a strong sexual and personal attraction, both parties want the relationship to work.  So long term pragmatic concerns tend to get set aside.  We are programmed for romance.  I did feel strongly enough attracted to the woman to consider marriage and living with all of the baggage that a Catholic wife might bring.  It didn't happen, and I don't now regret that.  But I'm a different person now than I was then. 

My father was an atheist, but he agreed to let his children be raised as Episcopalians.  Of four children, three retained religious beliefs.  I was the exception.  Generally speaking, it is impossible for children to grow up in a mixed-marriage household and remain oblivious to the religious differences of the parents.  Over the long run, an atheist-Christian relationship faces a lot of difficulties.  If this relationship becomes permanent, Ragnar, you had best reconcile yourself to the fact that it will be a serious issue in the long run.  Some of your children may become estranged from you over this.  You need to take that into consideration. if things get serious.

Hi Ragnar,

i'm in kind of the same situation as you.  i've been in a committed relationship with a Catholic for about 18months now, although within that time we've broken up and got back together five times.  Going strong for approaching six months now!  *fingers crossed*

i think the make-or-break issue is respect, because if there is something fundamental to your partner (such as her beliefs about the universe) which you do not respect then that will corode your relationship, pretty much as soon as the initial honeymoon period wears off.  Atheists and Christians are almost hard-wired to feel something approaching intellectual contempt for the opposite point of view, which may be supportable in the case of friends, but with a potential life-long partner maybe not.

How i deal with it... well, regardless of how she was brought up, my girlfriend and i have very similar views on most topics, including the spiritual.  i respect her journey, and she respects my doubt.  There's plenty of other stuff that is different about us (we're also a mixed-race, mixed-culture relationship), but it's the religious differences which have broken us up in the past.  i cant say that you're in for an easy time.

That said, best of luck!  Consider it an ideal opportunity for a little evangelism.  Go easy on her though - imagine how you'd feel if she was trying to convert you.

Regarding other people's comments:

For the record, I'm a good Christian boy, and I love having sex.  

Ahahahahahahahahahaahahaha!  

Some very hard questions to consider

Heheh

Stop hijacking the topic you FLIRT!  If your wife finds out, it's over.   

interesting responses. Maybe I should give a little more background here. We have known each other about five years, but up until Nov. 11 it wasn't anything like a relationship. We would go out a few times, she would get "too busy" to see me, and I wouldn't see her again for a year or two. Sometimes we still talked on the phone, sometimes not. Neither one of us was really very serious about the other. Since I met her I think she dated at least one other guy seriously, maybe two. Anyway, my sister got married on the 11th. I invited this woman to be my guest at the wedding, and at first she said no, but finally she agreed. We hadn't seen each other for maybe about a year, but we had been talking on the phone again. The last time I saw her she had said she wanted to have sex with me, but it never happened.  So she comes to the wedding and we have a great time. Afterwards I am supposed to drive her home, but I ask her if she wants to go to a hotel. She says yes and we make love all night, and we have been seeing each other since. Somewhere along the way we fell in love. So even though i have known her five years, it still feels very new.

Conversion is not a possibility on either side, on mine because my mind is made up on the matter regardless of what she says, on hers because she comes from a very religious extended Polish family that is very close - brothers, sisters, neices, cousins. I've met some of them and they're very nice people, but it's a very Old European mentality that probably can't even imagine the idea of there being no god. I wouldn't even want to try to convert her, I know it'd be pointless. Of all the issues raised in this thread  the only one I think I am really concerned about is the possibility of marriage going forward. It's not important to me, but obviously it will be important to her if we intend to stay together, and I don't think a Catholic Church anywhere would marry an atheist. We're not yet at that point, though, so... I don't know. I guess we'll just keep talking about this and try to figure something out when the time comes. 

Well, that didn't last long. She broke up with me right after her 35th birthday. Christian version of a midlife crisis, I guess. She wants to spend her life with someone who will share her faith and go to church with her every week. Since that is obviously not me, she said she couldn't stay with me anymore.

So if there are any single atheists out there, I'm available again :)

I think an atheist father and a Roman Catholic mother is a perfect recipe for agnostic kids!  I grew up with both parents believing and worshiping in the same way, so I can't really speak from experience, but I can imagine how uncomfortable it makes a kid when he realizes if one parent's beliefs are correct, the other is in grave, eternal danger, and if the other is correct, then the first one is putting hope in a complete falsehood. 

That's gotta suck.  And I haven't even mentioned the long term effects this very real tension will have on a relationship (mixed-religion relationships, I can speak of from experience).  It might not seem to matter now because you are still in the glow of sexual enthrallment, but after moving past that stage of the relationship, if I were a betting man, I'd bet that you're headed for a crash 

Wow, sounds familiar xD

BTW, DannyBoy and Ragnar should change their avys! I JUST realized they had the same avatar AND were both 4-star predominant users (whatever that means, lol)... no wonder I kept getting confused midway through threads xD

Most folks dont just "chose" a philosophical/theological belief or outlook on life.  In a manner of speaking one questions, searches and researches and it's your own conation  that makes up your mind for you.  You can chose your rear-size by regulating the amount of pie you stuff in your pie-hole.

Uhh, yeah. You chose to continue stuffing or not. Welcome to the world of consequences from choice.

Uhhh... that's what I said.

Sorry. Misread you. Though I don't think conation has as much to do with it as you think, as one can research all the facts they want, but when it comes to a conclusion on what the facts mean that is indeed a matter of choice.

Welcome? Been here awhile. 47 years to be exact. How long have you been here in the world of consequences from choice?

Glad to hear it. Amazingly most people are shocked when their decisions have repercussions, often in the negative. Like having a STD after sleeping around with anything with a pulse (or not). Or seeing such behavior on the rise after it's encouraged. Things like that.